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Vampires Exist, But They Are Not What You'd Expect

OCTOBER 25, 2015  —  By Tim Unkenholz  
Tim Unkenholz

Tim Unkenholz

Writer and stand up comedian in NY. Check out my monthly comedy show Roomie Raiders at the Creek and The Cave! @timunken

We may associate "vampire culture" with teens who dress up in the finest fishnets that Hot Topic has to offer, but as it turns out, there are real-life vampires out there who don't ascribe to the school-ghoul aesthetic.

In fact, most of these vampires have families and attend church. They only feed on blood to treat medical ailments.

Modern-day vampires don't lure women to their castles to feed on their virgin blood.

Instead, they feed on volunteers. They claim that blood relieves headaches and stomach pains.

Although these donors are sometimes the vampires' "lovers," the blood is always given voluntarily.

The donors and the vampires are tested by physicians to avoid infection.

Too much blood in anyone's system can lead to a surplus of iron, which isn't a good thing.

These people usually only consume blood once every few weeks to avoid that complication.

Some people sport fangs, but many vampires lead very normal lives.

There's no actual proof that blood is relieving their symptoms, but doctors are also having a hard time finding viable alternatives for people who experience that kind of pain. Because of the negative connotations surrounding vampirism, many people hide their symptoms and their feeding habits. That only makes things more difficult to figure out.