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Celebrating The Birth Of Your Child Is One Thing...But This Is Too Much

NOVEMBER 28, 2015  —  By Tim Unkenholz  
Tim Unkenholz

Tim Unkenholz

Writer and stand up comedian in NY. Check out my monthly comedy show Roomie Raiders at the Creek and The Cave! @timunken

The miracle of childbirth is a worthy source of artistic inspiration, but that doesn't mean that you should turn afterbirth into art. A bizarre new trend in the crafting world involves using actual bits of placenta to create disturbing pieces of artwork.

This may have seemed like a good idea at first, but I'm pretty sure that these pieces will come back to haunt children when they grow up and find their in-utero feeding tubes in the attic one day.

This heart may not be anatomically correct, but that's okay, because it was formed from an actual piece of flesh.

Someone sewed the placenta of their beloved child together to make the least cuddly teddy bear of all time.

This looks like some kind of festive pasta, but it's actually an organ that connects the fetus to the uterine wall. Fun!

This person made their placenta into a tree and then decided to make a print of it so that everyone in the office could check out the inside of her uterus.

Here's another tree made from the body part that's designed to remove waste from the baby's blood.

This painting was done exclusively with placenta blood. There's no way to tell if this was done by a loving mother, or baby-killing psychopath (or both?).

For more placenta craft ideas, check out this hilarious article from Reductress, which satirizes the freaky art form. Take this nice placenta crab, for example.

I totally get that childbirth is a truly profound experience that parents want to commemorate, but let's not forget that you have a living reminder of your child's birth that will be crashing at your house until at least age 18.