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Minnesota Is A Beautiful State...That's Also Full Of Monsters

NOVEMBER 7, 2015  —  By Tim Unkenholz  
Tim Unkenholz

Tim Unkenholz

Writer and stand up comedian in NY. Check out my monthly comedy show Roomie Raiders at the Creek and The Cave! @timunken

Minnesota may be nicknamed "The Gopher State," but gophers aren't the only little critters running around on the state's gorgeous soil. Apparently, Minnesota is also home to some bizarre cryptological beasts, ranging from classic lake monsters to ghostly kangaroos.

Let's learn a bit more about Minnesota's many monsters.

Phantom kangaroos.

This may sound like the name of some indie rock band, but many believe that ghostly marsupials haunt the Minnesota plains. They are said to stand between three and five feet tall, and they have gleaming eyes. They also have a penchant for slaughtering local dogs.

The Minnesota Iceman.

This creepy guy is feared all across the state. Many believe that this hairy, six-foot-tall monster is actually the missing link between humans and apes. Technically discovered in Siberia, this particular ape was towed around the U.S. and Canada by its Minnesotan owners until it was bought on eBay in 2013.

The Minnesota Mystery Monster.

In 2011, Minnesotans were baffled by this bizarre roadkill. Even experts were unable to identify the nasty little creature. Could the infamous Chupacabra have made it all the way up to Minnesota?

Peppi the Lake Pepin Monster.

Peppi (also written as "Pepie") is Minnesota's version of the Loch Ness Monster. Photos of the creature greatly resemble the plesiosaur-looking Nessie photos of old, but locals also say that Peppi might be a giant alligator.


In Algonquian tradition, it is believed that those who taste human flesh transform in these half-deer monsters that are fifteen feet tall and have an undying hunger for souls. It's said that if one is seen, deaths in the town will soon follow.

It's interesting that a place that's known for its friendly, accommodating people could also be the site of so much terror. Still, I think I want to visit eventually. Taking in that beautiful scenery is worth dealing with a hungry Wendigo or two.