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The Legend Of The Goatman Sounds Made Up, But It's Plausible Enough To Be Terrifying

NOVEMBER 17, 2015  —  By Tim Unkenholz  
Tim Unkenholz

Tim Unkenholz

Writer and stand up comedian in NY. Check out my monthly comedy show Roomie Raiders at the Creek and The Cave! @timunken

For most of you, the name "Goatman" doesn't instill fear into your heart, but for those of us who grew up in Maryland, it's a hauntingly familiar moniker.

This half-man, half-goat creature stalks the woods of Prince George's County, Maryland, and delights in scaring local teens. Legend has it that long, long ago, the Goatman was just a regular guy who was mutated by a scientific experiment...which makes his existence seem much more plausible to me.

The Goatman myth begins in Beltsville, Maryland, at the USDA's Agricultural Research Center. One scientist got too carried away with his goat experiments, which ultimately turned him into a 7-foot-tall, cloven-hoofed monster.

The Goatman stole a nearby farmer's axe and began living in the forest. He has been seen along Fletchertown Road and Lottsford Road in Prince George's County.

The Goatman's favorite victims are teenage lovers. Since the 1970s, teens in the area have told stories of parking their cars for romance, only to find the Goatman peering in.

The Goatman's link to the USDA facility is a popular myth, but some say that the Goatman might even be the Devil himself.

The Goatman was especially spooky for me because I grew up very close to that USDA facility and my mom works for the USDA. The one time I mentioned the Goatman to my mom, she rolled her eyes. But to this day, I like to think that she once knew the Goatman...before he became a myth.