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Watch Out For Trees With Giant Pinecones -- They Can Be Dangerous

OCTOBER 21, 2015  —  By Tim Unkenholz  
Tim Unkenholz

Tim Unkenholz

Writer and stand up comedian in NY. Check out my monthly comedy show Roomie Raiders at the Creek and The Cave! @timunken

A man is suing a California park because he claims that a giant pine tree tried to kill him with its mutant pinecones. Could this giant Christmas tree, known as the bunya pine, really have tried to kill a man?

Probably not, but you should still see the size of these things.

A man named Sean Mace says that he was sitting under a bunya pine tree in the San Francisco Maritime National Historical Park when a 16-pound pinecone knocked him unconscious.

People only sit under trees when they're trying to experience the power of gravity, or they're trying to sue a national park. This guy managed to do both.

Mace's brain hemorrhage was treated at San Francisco General Hospital, but he claims to be suffering from permanent brain damage.

He's suing the park for $5 million.

Bunya trees are native to Australia, but were brought to San Francisco Park to compete with the Redwood Forest.

This tree's ridiculous pinecones can weigh as much as 20 pounds.

Indigenous people in Australia used to boil these pinecones and make them into dough.

It's a bummer that Sean Mace sustained such a frightful injury from a tree, but at the same time, I have the same amount of sympathy for someone sitting under a tree with pinecones that weigh as much as a male torso as I do for someone sitting next to an angry bear.