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A Hellmouth Has Opened Up Near The Bighorn Mountains

NOVEMBER 5, 2015  —  By Tim Unkenholz  
Tim Unkenholz

Tim Unkenholz

Writer and stand up comedian in NY. Check out my monthly comedy show Roomie Raiders at the Creek and The Cave! @timunken

In case you need further proof that our exhausted Mother Earth is fed up with us still living here and is systemically getting rid of our old stuff, check out what she just did to the foothills of the Bighorn Mountains.

A giant "gash" (as experts are grossly calling it) has opened up in Wyoming that is 750 yards long and 50 yards wide. Researchers assure us that this is just normal geological activity, but I can't help but think that this is our planet's idea of revenge.

This all looks pretty normal...until you consider the fact that this ravine didn't exist a few weeks ago.

The gap is the length of seven and a half football fields, which is no big deal for the state of Wyoming, since it holds more land than even we humans can develop and destroy!

But what if this happened in a state like Maryland?

Experts claim that this is not a sign that the nearby supervolcano under Yellowstone Park is about to erupt, but it super looks like it.

Scientists insist that an underground spring lubricated the cap rock, causing the bottom to slide out. Boom! Instant shattering!

They say that this is pretty common after damp springs and summers.

Just keep telling yourselves that, scientists. The jig is up. We're screwed.

I have been known to over-exaggerate when it comes to geological doom, but come on! We let Mother Earth have her own little spot in Wyoming, so why would she destroy it unless she intends to destroy us all as well? That's what I thought.